Spouse's relationship [part 2]
Marriage is a union of body, mind and soul. Before marriage you have complete right over your body but now, only half the body belongs to you. The right side of the wife is the husband, and the left side of the husband is the wife.
The husband and wife are like the locomotive and the compartment. To function usefully in life both must be together. One is useless without the other. The husband and wife should always eat together, in the presence of each other.
The wife of the house must be always smiling and radiating Love. This is real beauty. Piling hair upon hair and doing fancy hair styles is not beauty.
Before marriage, the girl should love her parent as a daughter, after marriage, the girl should also regard her in-laws as her parents. To serve her parents in-law is her duty. Even though the wife has to obey her husband, she must exercise authority jointly with her husband. The wife must develop self-confidence, because of self-confidence is the basis and self-realization is the goal of life.
What is real love then?
Real Love is unconditional...
By unconditional we mean love, which does not demand anything back in return for that love. It is pure and unsullied by motives; it always gives, gives, and gives; never demanding anything back in return; there are no strings or conditions attached to this love. That is real love. Not only does this love not ask for anything in return, but continues to flow in spite of ingratitude or abuse. That is Real Love which never changes under any set of circumstances.
Love is a flow, a stream of spiritual matter, a fluid that flows continually like a fountain..... Love is not an explosion, but a continued emanation, a psychic radiation which proceeds from the lover to the beloved." Here, the beloved can be one's child, one's friend, one's spouse, one's parents or one's Creator. When it includes libidinal energy, the beloved becomes one's lover. But sexuality without the spiritual dimension, merely on an animal level is like comparing a hut to a castle.
Love lives by giving and forgiving,
Self lives by getting and forgetting...
The mind sees separateness, love sees unity....
'Love casts out fear!' 1 John 4:18
The above information are taken from a divine source... finding it useful and meaningful, I would also like to share with all of you for a better understanding.
When the husband and the wife accepts each other as life-partners, vowed to stay with each other, be it rain or shine, thereof we are committed to stay together. Of course, with love as the main ingredient of the family, all things will turn out nice and happy. But sad to say, too many people aren't as committed as should be. I am not going to talk too much on its negative sides
Think twice.... I used to share this short story.
When two lovers come together to marry, they are building up a family. It is like building a house. A few kids will fill up the house, making it noisy and dirty. If the roof of the house starts leaking, what will the father do? Leave it to deteriorate or throw the house away and go to build another new house? The answer is NO! The father will find means to mend the house because the whole family lives in it.
Likewise, if in the case when a man's marriage is breaking, one needs not throw away this marriage and aims to start another new family! Whose house will not leak? Whose marriage is guaranteed to be built only on roses, milk and honey? There is a way out, to solve it by 'mending', to save the marriage. There is this urgent need for mending, not leaving the marriage to die..... because there are kids! Don't be the creator of miseries and sufferings for your own kids. Never..ever think of it!
Some useful tips for maintaining a happy spouse relationship
[1] Live the law of love. Refrain from saying unkind or negative things... It is most often when a partner harbours hate and revenge deep inside their heart for a certain period of time that widens the gap of misunderstanding. I do feel that sometimes angry or unkind words are spoken when someone is angry or provoked. I presume that these wrong remarks are said without a true intention. Angered phrases never make any sense! Nobody dares say that he or she can remain calm when provoked. To remain unprovoked is really a skill that all of us have to learn.
[2] Assume the best of each one another.... No comparison please. This is one of the 'killer' that injects poisonous venom into an immature partner and will be killed' by jealousy. So, it is advisable not to evoke old pains and wounds by reminding each other of negatives. Learn to assume the best of each other...
[3] love lives by giving and forgiving, self lives by getting and forgetting... Giving and forgiving..... giving is comparatively easier that forgiving one's faults or sins. But true love means forgiving and forgetting. Be erased of wounds and stale tales... after all, all of us learn through mistakes. Provided one is working hard towards an improvement, provided one is genuine enough, we should learn to forgive and forget.
[4] speak softly and do things quietly this is a virtue, a virtue for all ladies and mothers. Too many a times they that at one time were lovers, but after becoming mothers have changed from a meek kitten to an aggressive tigress! We do understand the emotional changes that takes place to these women, of their untold sufferings, suppressed hurts and roles expected of them, that these women are also stressed. Shouting and screaming are sometimes their only ways to release their stress...but think twice! Negative effects would be doubled, seen or unseen. One can imagine the negative impact it would make to their young, their parents-in-laws and their husbands.
[5] Be attentive to minor changes or needs. Women are actually born to be more sensitive to changes or needs of the family. Maximize your talents and make sure that you can shoot down the problems before it really started to create any disturbances.
[6] learn to mix with fun and jokes when partaking in the routine work. A joyous and humorous wife or mother will be very much treasured in a home. Be smiling always, a sweet smile adorns the face means so much more than any lipsticks or flowers.
[7] Master the skill to cook well, feed the husband, kids and parent-in-laws. A hungry man is always an angry man! Heard of this? Try to put in special skills to add smiles to their faces when serving lunch or dinner. Always give them pleasant surprises once in a while. Cook nutritious, delicious healthy food for the family. Be health-conscious and be budget-wise. One shouldn't be a spendthrift too. Think of the one who sweats to make ends meet.
[8] Be understanding and be a good listener in times of sharing. Learn how to massage away each other's tiredness. Learn how to dis-stress each other. Bring in fun, even as parents. [9] Don't live in suspicion. Don't exaggerate a negative word or a meaningless action. Don't push things over the wall. Be patient to achieve
[10] Be presentable, looking clean and robust. no husband wants to see a dirty, tired, and worried face after a hard day's work.
[11] A spouse should portray certain roles appropriate to spice up their love-life. Learn to lure, tempt your spouse that will keep your love afire with desires and needs. Sometimes can be posing as lovers, girl/boyfriends, partners, enchantress, flirting with each other and evoking another romance, passion too magical to believe or too hot to handle! There is nothing wrong in the awakening of such passion among spouses!.
[12] Be open-minded to accept new ideas. Both partners have to come to an agreement in taking up roles as wise parents, educating them as should be. Practise give and take, stand and sit, share and reap.... We should set good examples for children to follow, monkey see, monkey do...Bearing in mind that parents are the head of the family, so caution must be taken on the language we speak.....never underestimate the importance of proper and right influences,...the hands that rock the cradle rules the world....
[13] Solve disputes or disagreements away from the kids.
[14] Be just, but never demanding true justice. No emotions can be balanced on justice. You love me, so I love you... I love you, so you must love me! haha.... Can it be measured as fair and square? The 3 stages of love kindled emotions portrayed at different stages are not easily achieved, it is a journey, not a destination. It works hand in hand with patience and mutual understanding. From lovers to parents, from parents to grandparents living to old age as companions for life. Don't be misled by some romance stories and films where the heroes and heroines loved dramatically and lived on beds of roses.
[15] Be contented with what we have at hand. A bird in our hand is much better that many birds in the bushes. Don't be tempted by what looked better or seemed delicious, but stand firm and not swayed by temptations of flesh. 'A night of forbidden love, costed him his whole life imprisonment and death was what he got eventually!!' Samson regretted. Everyone knows this bible story.
[16] Go for holidays...family holidays can foster and bind family ties better... take a break whenever can be arranged....
The most perfect match is a deaf husband with a blind wife... agree or not? hahaha.....
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